my dumb insecurity (in which I waver in my points of view)

I'm a really insecure person who pretends to be able to understand people but I really don't. This realisation (or observation) stems from three things that I realised I do:

1. I try to remind people that I exist
2. I feel bad about doing that because I don't know if I'm offended
3. I do it anyway because I am insecure

It's like this endless cycle of fretting, and I don't want to care about what people think of me. But sadly, I still do. Somehow, impressions of me are something I obsess about but also things that I can hardly change. I am also at a point where I am unsure of my bearings, unsure about my stance.

Which brings me to the next thing on my mind.

Recently, I've been reading about Malala Yousafzai and I get increasingly confused as I read more and more about it. At first, I was really heartened to hear of such a young, peaceful activist for education and women's rights. Her story was one that really touched me because education and women's rights are very important things to me. 

As I read into the story, about how people in her home aren't too receptive to what she has done, about the fact that she might have either exaggerated situations or over-generalised the predicament of her people, about the fact that (this is something more controversial and sensational) she may have been manipulated by others to give certain impressions about her oppressors, I get more and more uncertain of what I should believe.

Should I believe that she is what she says she is, or should I believe the naysayers? Should I believe the positive or negative? What do I choose believe? What do I want to believe

It makes me want to stop reading about the whole case itself, but it also makes me want to find a truth for myself. But is my truth the real truth?

Augh, my head. I'm tired and unsure. I could say that it's because of school, but I think it's something else.