Romantic love seems like a really strange concept the more I think about it. Unlike familial love, wherein bonds are much easier to explain away (because of genetic relations), romantic love requires emotions and obligations to come out of two unrelated people. Two people deciding to set aside a piece of their minds for each other, two people setting unspoken obligations for each other. It scares me, because familial love feels like something I possess out of pure obligation, but my reactions to romantic love are more intense, as if it possesses me rather than the other way around.

We will never have what we think is "enough time" with each other because of this nation's need for your "service" and because you are a good child and I missed you the very moment we parted. Though I was with a crowd, the thought of you going home alone made the longing to be with you stronger as we were pulled further and further apart.

I really don't like it when people say oh I was so crazy and bad now I'm changed up and good inside, ugh you're a good friend BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

we're up all night to get lucky

best cover

The boy is back from camp for a few short days and then gone again I feel like my only free time will revolve around him for a while, oh well bad news for him because that means he has to hang out with my own friends ha ha ha

At work now, feeling generally irrelevant to the Larger Scheme of Things just because, irrelevant to the people around me because our conversations usually revolve around them, irrelevant to my religion because where is He anyway. Feeling hungry for food, hungry for answers, hungry for company, hungry for something More than This. Hating my 9 to 5, hating my need to matter, hating myself inside and out. When did I become this?

double standards

It saddens and baffles me that my mom would be okay with me dating a dude who smokes but may never accept my Muslim boyfriend (who is most likely even 'cleaner' than I am).

I have your cardigan with me to remind me of you but I don't dare to hug it or smell it too much or your scent will be replaced with my own so what do I do now until you come back?

flurry

I look at the empty space you left behind in such a hurry, rushing home to appease a mother who doesn't know I exist and who may never acknowledge that I do. I breathed in the last of your presence, stroke the last imprint of your body on my sheets before it is replaced with my own.

My body still isn't fully aware of the fact that you're not in close proximity. Imagine the time it will take to comprehend that you're leaving in two days.

I have forgiven you even before knowing, because I cannot blame, I would not understand the pain, though certain truths are harder to swallow and comprehend than others. Know this: time is unforgiving, it gives mourning and sorrow greater resonance, it brings greater significance to things that, in other instances, might have been insignificant. You can only grow stronger with every cut that smarts, and the scars do not shame you, they should remind you of your strength in spirit.

There is some difference in the way I see you now, but that has not made you any less wonderful in my eyes.