wonder

I find myself becoming busier and busier, overcommitting in school, falling back in studies and trying (pretty hard) to catch up, "socialising", trying to help a friend run his business. And while the me from years back would have felt energised amidst the chaos and a schedule that never stops, it all feels quite meaningless right now. Is the reason why I busy myself because I am so empty? I sometimes think it's because I'm scared of admitting to myself that I am alone, I am my own being. So maybe that's why I let myself continue to be busy, continue to do everything in my capacity to forget that I do not matter, I am dispensable and disposable. I wonder, do all the things I do only serve to remind me I exist?