Short notes:

1. My dad told me that I won't be staying in hall in my second year. Wanted to throw things at him but maybe I should think about it too,

2. I sometimes wish that I could post photos of us up on social media without having to overly worry about my parents (since they're both on Facebook and Instagram) and then it makes me think about the deeper problems I will face in my relationship and it just makes me wish I didn't wish for anything in the first place.

Other than that, yay not so bad day today.

first coherent post in a while

Highly irrelevant picture to break the introspective nonsense I've been typing for who knows how long.

I don't really know what happened with my blog. It wasn't meant to be so emotional and introspective when I first started out. But school and people and everything gets me down. Haha Amanda you're so lame.

Over the past few months in school (it was mostly hall) I have realised that I am a very insecure, inward looking, self-conscious, needy person but at the same time I can't bring myself to reach out to too many people. And when I lay it all down in words, I sound quite unappealing to myself too.

The same things repeat constantly in my head: insecurity, inadequacy, weariness, anger and sadness. Still feeling a bit of all that, but I'm trying to move off from this stagnancy. Got really angry and upset with a lot of things yesterday and a bit of today, but I reached home, away from almost everything and I feel so much better.

And on the car ride home, I am reminded of why I love theatre so much and I'm glad to have found at least one person who is allured by it as much as I am.

Listening to xxyyxx helps me. I can't believe I'm going to see him in January I'm so fucking psyched.

Having things to look forward to really calms me down and I actually feel glad enough to want to hug everyone because things can be good and things can go well and I have things to be positive about.

I should move my blog/delete everything soon.

I will figure things out.